Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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