She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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