Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
