I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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