i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
