Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
