we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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