i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
