he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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