Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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