Whod you bang
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
