i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
