Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
