Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
