this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
