tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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