Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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