i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
jump out the window naked night went bad
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
