Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
