were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
