dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
