whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
