porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
