I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
