Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
