GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
