Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
