just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize