I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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