I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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