Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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