Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
