Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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