jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There r osticjed everywhere
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
