I love black thongs
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
