i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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