You smell like stripper and shame
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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