Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
