Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
