Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
