saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just forgot I was standing up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
