Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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