I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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