? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize