spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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