she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
