Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
