I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He shit in the fireplace
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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