I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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