Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
