She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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