I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
