I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
