she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
