i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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