I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
