You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
