bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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