I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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