I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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