Don't make out with my wife yet
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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