You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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