We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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