that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
