3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
