i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize