Tell her she can't have a vagina
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
