This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
