you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
