I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
